Most of our married life has been lived out in unfamiliar states, far from family or friends. We've lived both hand-to-mouth and with ample margin in our budget. It's safe to say we've tested our commitment.
Friends suggest we could write a book about making big decisions and that "if anyone can make it through, we can" referring to the journey we've traveled-both involuntarily and voluntarily. The truth is neither of our parents have stayed the course in marriage, so we had a good idea of what can tear it apart when we began. Figuring out what sustains is new territory.
If asked now, I'd say what sustains is your commitment to the in-between.
Any one in your life who's worth their place there will celebrate with you and will bring a meal or lend a hand when life isn't so celebratory. But in between its just the two of you.
Each person is sure to grow and change through the years, which makes it all the more tricky.
In spite of the bad & ugly that comes along with growth, each person has to be deeply committed to stay and to support and to love. Sound humanly impossible? Absolutely!
This is where our individual relationships with Jesus, and devotion to honoring & obeying His commands makes all the difference. We're both accountable to something higher than our vows for our actions & reactions, for forgiving and apologizing.
Beyond that it's about the in between.
In between degree and job.
In between pre- and post- baby weight.
In between diagnosis and recovery.
In between flowers and grand romantic gestures.
Staying committed when the newborn has been home for a couple months and your lifeline is the coffee maker's drip and you've chosen sleep over sex for weeks.
When your cup is so empty, you having nothing left to give, & you give something, anything anyway.
Marriage is a promise. A promise to get creative when a date or even flowers aren't in the cards to make your gal feel lovely. A promise to give them no good reason to look elsewhere for flattery and to make them feel noticed. Marriage is a commitment to saying yes when you really don't feel like it because you know it's important to your spouse.
Marriage is life-long companionship-be it watching the game or a RedBox DVD, or sitting in a hospital room.
That's when I feel married.
That's when I'm glad I'm married.
Happy 10th Anniversary, babe!