Monday, August 12, 2013

"I know what sex is, mom"

Have you seen this commercial?

The first big one came while we were donating gifts at Christmas time a couple years ago.
I'd always felt uneasy about the Santa thing with my kids.
I cracked that fantasy wide-open at about 5 years old and still experienced the wonder of that magic morning with presents under the tree. We'd decided to let him believe on his own, but to answer his questions honestly as they came.
And then it came:
"Some kids get nothing or very little from their Christmas wish list because their parents don't have the money," I told my charitable givers.
From the back seat, my Kindergartner asked, "Why doesn't Santa bring them the toys? Are they all on the naughty list?"
And I thought that was a loaded question.

Last week, while I was folding laundry he joined me & blurted:
"Mom, I know what sex is. It's when a guy and a girl are naked and kissing and it makes a baby. Right?"
Um..I'm just doing laundry here, a sex chat with my 7 year old wasn't really on the agenda today....or for a few years.

About this time last year I nearly vomited when someone I trusted told him too much about what happens in the porn shop that is near my mother's house. I was outraged that this grown up would flippantly rip his innocence away. Private parts were for peeing & feeding babies as far as he knew and I liked it that way. I certainly don't want him learning the perversions before the intended purposes. 

In keeping with our desire to answer honestly, as we discern that he's mature enough to process, I told him the link between sex and a baby.
Me: "Your body parts are different. At a certain age, a girl has an egg in her body and a boy has sperm and those two things come together through sex to make a baby in the girl's body."
Him: " fertilization?"
Me: "Exactly."
Him: "So that's why a girl can't marry a girl. Because they can't make a baby."

We carried on a bit. By some miracle, I was able to project FAR more coolness with the whole ordeal than was bubbling inside of me. It was a brief conversation. It seemed as normal as talking about snakes or tornadoes-which I much prefer. I'm pretty sure it was immediately followed by something as trivial as "Can I have a cheese stick?"

The information my kids will have to process and the exposure they'll get living in the world today makes my job as a parent feel crucial. I wish to foster a healthy, safe environment for my kids to ask any thing & share any thing. I do not want them to feel duped by my answers should I skirt the issues and they become privy to the truth via peers or media.
God, this job is hard!

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