Friday, April 20, 2012

I'm afraid


I'm afraid I won't be able to run again. The moments before I hit the treadmill and select my 'running' playlist are filled with doubt. I'm afraid I won't get past 1/2 mile. I ran a 10K, with limited walking & have run 2-3 miles every other day for a while now but still, I'm afraid each time that I won't be able to do it.

I'm afraid that we are losing precious time while our kids are young that could be shared with cousins and family.

I'm afraid that if we go back to live near family, our kids will have the same trouble we've had finding opportunity that maximizes their potential nearby & will end up moving away, like we have.

I'm afraid that if we don't strike the perfect balance, our kids won't be as grateful as we are for the blessings we have. We grew up with much less than we have now; they're growing up privileged (ex: pics above: room service at the hotel this weekend).

I'm afraid that if I don't keep relevant with my skills in some way while I'm in the stay-at-home-mom stage, I'll have less opportunity when it's time to pick up where I left off.

I'm afraid that if I don't check the back door before bed, it will be the night that Dan forgot & an intruder enters.

I'm afraid that if my daughter doesn't start obeying the first time she's asked, she could get hit by a car or kidnapped. 

I'm afraid that if we buy a home based on our current financial situation, we could end up wanting to send our kids to private school and not have the money to do it. 

I'm afraid that my son will get fed up with being told to "hold on" while I feed his baby sister or clean up after the middle sister and no longer ask me to read his library book or show me the draft for the roller coaster he's designing, called "the Lion".

I'm afraid that if my husband sees me peeing or wearing the same tank & ponytail too many times he'll start thinking of me as a relative.

I'm afraid that if we don't disconnect from our iPhones at some point each night, we'll be less connected.

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