He filled out his valentines wish such careful attention.
We had a one-of-a-kind homemade craft planned until he saw his sister's choice from the $1 store & decided he wanted something pre-fabricated. In his typical decisive fashion, he chose Scooby Doo and sour candy to attach.
When the nurse called because he was too sick to stay at school last week and the Dr confirmed ear infections in both ears, I knew filling out valentines was the perfect activity for him.
He knew exactly which one would be perfect for this friend and that. I enjoyed every bit of him being so deliberate and watching him hand-write each card.
I thought we wouldn't recover when he realized "you're by best friend" and "be mine" would have to go to more than one classmate.
We quickly ran out of valentines with benign phrases and when came to a certain name, his face when stiff.
Me: "How about, this one for her? it says "it's no mystery you're a great pal."
Carter: "no. mom. it is a mystery. she's mean."
On Monday night he stopped me, as I was reading to him, looked up at me and said, "Mom, I cannot wait to give my friends their valentines." When he got home from school last night he put them in his backpack almost immediately. He had his coat, shoes & backpack on for over half an hour before it was time to go to school this morning.
Sometimes I'm so afraid to send such a tender-hearted boy into this world. I can't tell you.
Tomorrow is his birthday. I can't wait to celebrate him all day. He is compassionate & loving with un-jaded vulnerability. He sings to baby Clara and tolerates Lilah's impulsive outbursts. He helps and obeys. He makes it so hard not to be that mom that thinks her kid is better than your kid.
Looking at his beaming face this morning before the sun came up when he came to me saying "mom, tomorrow is my birthday!" nearly made me forget how sick I am and how his baby sister with bronchitis is threatening our big weekend travel plans. Oh, Lord, I couldn't bare to tell him the trip and the party are off. Please, please heal us all & give this boy with the big, tender heart what he wants for his birthday:
"a party with Grammie and Selah" (his cousin, both in NY)
*top photo by sj bridgeman