Wednesday, October 12, 2011

#2 was to be a playmate for #1, a witness

Once, I heard Natalie Portman describe siblings as a witness to your life.
She didn't have siblings, no one to rehearse her life with, and has little memory from early childhood.
I had never thought of siblings that way. 

Carter had colic. Real, diagnosed colic as a baby. He & I were at health risk just before his emergency csection, from which I suffered complications for months. Still, we always planned on trying for #2.
As a witness to his life.
I loved how she put that. Don't you?
I picture my brothers & I cracking up over something my mom did (bill on the fridge) or wore (fish shirt) or the phrases my dad says (take that to the north star bank) & the inflection he uses (yeah..right). 
Just a couple words can bring back a flood of memories we share and I can't imagine not having that familial bond. 

Like many parents expecting #2, we hoped assumed "he'd have someone to play with now". 

Well, 3 years in and I could nearly count on my hands the times they've happily played together.

He is cautious.

 She is wild.

He's still & she is busy. He is fair & she's radical. 
They have plenty of similarities, but so far their differences dominate their relationship.

ask anyone who is with one of them alone, they always think of the other, unprompted. 
For this I am deeply grateful because it's my only indication that deep down they truly love & care for each other. A sticker at the Dr, a sucker at the salon, even on birthday trips with uncles they pick out something for the other, who isn't present. 
Trust me, to this I cling.

Carter came home from school on Lilah's birthday with this note. (pictured above)
My eyes teared when I found it among his homework papers.
He loves her. 
He tells her that her baby doll isn't real. 
(though she's so convinced she is that daddy had to bring the doll, 
{buckled in clara's car seat} to the store.)
He will rip anything that is his out of her hands & tattles on her every move.
But she can hardly wait for him to get home from school. 
(she raided his drawers during her naptime & woke up dressed this way)

She hit him in the face tonight.
For no good reason.
But he loves her. 
Here's to hoping the love they are hiding so well inside for each other translates into shared memories and a few laughs. 
Even if at my expense.
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  1. I feel like my daughter (almost 5) and son (almost 3) are identical!
    she is calm and easy going, for the most part
    he IS WILD!

    but they are the same way always looking out for eachother and getting eachother stuff.

    I LOVE IT!!!

  2. I love that. I love to think that I have provided one more person who will remember things about each of my daughters, one more person for them to love and to be loved by in return... I am an only child because of some unfortunate events, but I am happy my gals have each other!

  3. Yes! I saved the birthday card that Dylan made the Lauryn this year because it's just SO SWEET. Goes up on my blog this week. :) I love the pics that accompany this post. Beautiful kids.


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