Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Colic: hiding in homes, killing joy & confidence.

If that title seems a bit dramatic, consider yourself blessed; you are among the parents that have never had a baby with colic.

At 3 months, their personalities are so different that it was only when I looked through old photos that I saw such resemblance. 
Those kissable lips & dark, sparkly eyes, they melt me.

~
We've been harboring a secret. Treasuring it, really.
We both know it and as it gets confirmed throughout the day we glance knowingly at one another but only seldom say it out loud. 
For fear we'll jinx it. (Just in case that sort of thing is real).
Clara Lily does not have colic.
She is our very first baby without it.
We may or may not be struggling with favoring her for it.

Dear mom of a baby 4weeks to 3-4m old who cries without reason (you've checked off fed, dry, & rested) for the majority of their waking hours, colic is not kidding around. 
Having a baby without it, has all the more confirmed what we already knew about the other two. 

It's a surefire kill-joy of this time with your much-anticipated bundle. It's not your fault.
It's not because you're over-tired, or over-whelmed, or you're not giving motherhood your best.
It's not because you got an epidural or had a c-section at birth or because you nurse or bottle-feed.
It may come as a surprise to you, as it did us, because the babies were so peaceful in the hospital & first week.
Colic is a real thing, yet irremediable.

It's okay to put the baby in the safety of the crib for 5 min while you take a shower & re-group.
It's okay to ask for help, even if it's from the mom that you think is much better than you because her baby sits alone in a swing or bouncer & coos even.
You WILL get through this.
And s/he will get over it. It ends
And just as unbelievable as the thought your 2 y/o will end up potty-trained before kindergarten, your baby can become the most contented, creative, cooperative kid you can't imagine now.

Here are a couple things that worked for us with babies w/colic & reflux. (yep, we got both.)
(never read the book, but the 5 S's are fantastic tools)
Run the vacuum. Run the water. 
Sometimes we did both at the same time. Bouncing & swaddling all the while.
(our babies didn't take pacifiers. we tried nearly every one. but by all means give it a try.)
Most importantly, rehearse: this will pass.




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6 comments:

  1. Tina! Clara is so, so lovely. I am so happy for you that she has a lovely personality to match that beautiful face. I must say you were such a trooper when living thru colic-hell with your other two. I think you did it with much grace. Maybe you were too tired to complain. :)

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  2. (....and of course it goes without saying that your other two have awesome personalities to match their adorable-ness!!! )

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  3. I'm celebrating with you! This reminds me of a lady I met recently. She came to a friend's bridal shower late and was cautiously holding her baby girl at a special angle in her arms while getting herself situated in the room. After a few minutes the questions started...how old is she, is this your first...etc. She graciously explained it was her 11th and the first with colic! That special angle was the only thing she had figured out that sometimes worked. She went on to apologize for all the times she had believed colic was just bad parenting. This 11th blessing was teaching her a lot about grace. And her story taught me a lot too!!!

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  4. This post popped up in the "you might also like" category as I was reading your most recent post. And when the two little Lilah/Clara faces popped up (super small on my computer screen), I was surprised to find myself thinking that Clara looked just like Moriah! I've never thought that before...but hmmm....

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