Monday, December 7, 2009

Satin Sheets are Slippery

Like most daughters, I spent a good portion of my adolescence trying to change my mom.
Embarrassed by her clothes or her comments; you name it!
She was a single mom, focused on finishing school and getting us through life, but I felt her focus needed to be more on what she wore & how she did her makeup like my friends' moms.
One year I went to Lord & Taylor & bought her a black velour outfit for Christmas. If she was going to keep wearing those worn-out, faded-black stirrup pants & the Buffalo Bills sweatshirt (gag!), I was going to have to step in!The black head-to-toe look was ALL WRONG for my mom. It did nothing to accentuate her blond hair & pretty green eyes. She put it on that afternoon if I can remember correctly. She was smiling & proud to wear what her kid picked for her. Poor mom, I knew it from the moment she stepped out, this wasn't for her. "But all black is supposed to instantly slim & sophisticate?"
It would've been perfect for me.
Not her.

This might have been my first lesson in
giving what they want, not what you would want for them.

A couple of years ago I slipped up again. Thinking, "gosh her cookware could use a complete overhaul" I convinced my husband to spring for some quality cookware that we couldn't live without. Nice, right?
Except, she doesn't cook.
A year later she still had that spatula that gets used daily at our house, in the packaging!

TD Jakes writes a chapter titled "Satin Sheets Slide" in his book The Lady, Her Lover, her Lord. The message is the same; a woman may give her husband satin sheets thinking it is the ultimate in luxury, when in reality "satin sheets slide".
They aren't warm, aren't breathable, and wrinkle like linen.
He says spouses make this mistake all the time.
Giving what they would want rather than what their partner would want.

I'm shopping like most of you are for the perfect gift for everyone on my list.
I'm trying to keep in mind that I may LOVE little more than my espresso roast coffee, but my mom only drinks tea. While I would love to open an impractical, romantic, more-than-we-agreed-to-spend gift on Christmas morning,
my husband would feel warm & fuzzy if I stayed on budget!

What do they really want?
Not, what do you want for them. You know what I mean?

*My cousin uploaded this image of my mom before she started wearing the Bills' sweatshirt & I just couldn't wait to use it in a post. I realize it doesn't really match the title or message, but isn't it wonderful? Pin It


  1. This is a REALLY good post...send it in to somewhere...please! What a great reminder!

  2. Your mom looks so cute in her outfit in the picture....and that wall paper. I remember it like yesterday!

  3. I also love the post because it is exactly the way I feel. I'm asked all the time what I want for Christmas or for my birthday when the reality is what I really want is that person to know me enough to know what I would love! That speaks volumes to me. Also love the pic, what I wouldn't give to look like that again!
    Love Mom

  4. You are so good at this blog thing! I started and could not keep it up.
    Good thoughts!

  5. I'm so glad you added this pic...
    And Teresa, you put it best: what speaks volumes is when a person can "know me enough to know what I would love."
    So great...

  6. By the way I'm going to wear that same Bills sweatshirt when I pick you up at the airport next week for old time's sake. Love you!


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