Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Guest Blogger: Starr Cliff

Reflection

It’s so fun when babies are born, and everyone dissects who they look like:

“I think he has your chin.”…“Those are definitely your feet. His toes are long and finger-ish just like your freaky toes.”…“He has your nose for sure. There’s absolutely no denying that’s your honker.”…“He has your beautiful big brown eyes.”

So fun!

It gets even more fun when they get a wee bit older and start to smile and laugh and do more than just lay around:

“Oh! How sweet! She has your laugh!”“Wow, he looks just like his Daddy when he smiles.”…“You make that same face when you’re sleepy!”

I love it when I see a picture of my four year old daughter, and it reminds me of a picture of myself when I was her age. It thrills my mom and my grandma too – they love to see past cherished images re-lived through their grandkids.

But about the time my kids hit three or four years old, I began to seriously take note that my kids look like me in more ways that just sharing my smile…..

My four-year-old daughter slammed her door in anger a couple days ago. It was a bad choice on her part. She didn’t show self-control. She wasn’t respectful toward her brother, whose face the door was slammed in. She acted out of anger and not out of love. So her behavior had to be corrected.

[gulp] [sigh] [gulp again]

Everything in me wanted to just let that solitary act of door slamming pass by unnoticed.

Her childish, angry, door-slamming behavior was learned from….her mommy. [and did I mention – “gulp”]

When I’ve had enough – enough of an argument, attitude or heated conversation – I have been known to slam a door. It’s sort of my signal to my husband that I’m done for the moment. I’m D.O.N.E. Ladies, you know what I mean. DONE. I’m angry and need to resume at a later time. So instead of saying, “I really just need some time to think about this and get my emotions under control, and we can talk later”, I instead quickly depart the area, head to my bedroom, and slam the door. I’ve found it communicates the same message, in a much more profound way. A side benefit is that it needlessly escalates the situation to new, much worse, level. Mature, huh?

Now the slamming of doors doesn’t happen often mind you (honestly, it doesn’t!), but enough that in Lauryn’s short four years of the planet she’s heard the slamming of a door 3 or 4 times.

Seeing that behavior in her was nowhere near as fun as seeing that we share a smile.

Our children are little mirrors, reflecting back to us all the things they see us do. Both good and bad.

I had to correct Lauryn the day of the door-slamming incident. I did it with much grace and sincere apologies for being a poor example. But I had to correct her nonetheless. And it was really tough.

I’m quite certain I will exercise a little more self-control the next time I’m angry.

Let’s just hope I don’t replace the door-slamming with something equally immature for her to copy. I hope I don’t start cussing. That could be embarrassing.

You can follow Starr Cliff at
Lost in Laundry. She was one of my first local friends, and can be thanked for linking me to most of my favorite gals in town.

*detailgal note*
Tina added the Mirror because I've been crushing on it & Starr didn't like any mirror images she found. For ordering: Elise Frameless Mirror, Pottery Barn
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1 comment:

  1. Oh what an insightful post. When Natalie was Lauryn's age I was being horrified on a daily basis - one slammed door, you're doing great. Praising God for all the growth he's brought about in my life thanks to that adorable little looking glass!

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