Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Love & marriage...and divorce

I'm going to try to get some thoughts out of my head so they cease to wake me up at night. I've been exposed to marriages suffering, dying, even ending around every turn this past year.
Sure, this is happening in the world somewhere, perhaps even in my zip code, daily. But this is different. These are couples I watched fall in love. I attended, even participated in some of their weddings. I'm serious when I say it seems to be coming at me from every angle & has provoked thoughts that are keeping me up at night.

At first, I thought of it as a warning to me. Enter:The Love Dare Book The warning, I'll go ahead and admit, came at a very unwelcome time. It was "keep your head above water" time around here. I was exhausted. My energy & attention required through the day & through the night. Dan was met at the door with need after need, after a full day of work.

Early in our marriage, Dan said the most unromantic thing to me "I choose to love you, Tina". WHAT?! You have to choose it? Doesn't it just come naturally spilling out because of how irresistible I am?

Turns out, he was right. It's a choice. One each has to make daily. Prioritizing. Listen, with young kids & no family within 1,500 miles, we're talking turning off the TV, ignoring the phone, and having face to face time. On those nights when we get to go out alone-bliss! Saturday was one of them. Ahhh... Usually these nights couldn't come soon enough. And the space between is far wider than we'd like.

On this news, a few reflections:
1. No one is exempt.
2. They don't necessarily have divorced parents.
3. Each individual has a responsibility to protect their minds & hearts from that which seeks to divide you from your spouse. PRAY, people.
"oh be careful little eyes what you see...ears what you hear...feet where you go"
4. Is someone or something else filling a need you should be getting filled by your spouse? Simple as flattery or grand as intimacy.
5. Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. (I Cor 13:4-7 The Message Bible) Pin It

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