"The trick in life, my dear, is not getting what you want;
its wanting what you get after you get it"
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its wanting what you get after you get it"
When our family settled snugly at home last night after over a week in NY bouncing from bed to bed between our parents' homes, I felt at home. Problem is, when my kids were surrounded by my nieces and nephew, brothers and sisters and when we were all being spoiled by our moms and dads I felt at home. The familiar gray sky and snow covered landscape of WNY looks like home. Dunkin Donuts coffee in the morning and Buzzy's pizza and wings at night tastes like home. Respiratory inflamation, kleenex after kleenex, annoyed by family idiocyncricies and frustrated by out of norm inconveniences...yes, I'm at home.
I could bounce back and forth between the new pleasures of life living in Texas and the sentimentality of being in NY until the sun comes up. Torn; not really. I know that our family is where God has us right now. Just like I know that my brothers & sisters-in-law are where God has them. For now, I'm trusting that God has something far beyond my wild imagination in store for the future.
I can safely say the last place I'd want to live is in WNY, where I grew up and where I feel undoubtedly at home. At rest? That's another story. I all but refused to meet my husband because he was a WNY resident and I never wanted to end up back there. The years I spent living there during engagement and then marriage were dark and oppressive on my spirit. Its just not the place for me.
That said, the warmth felt being surrounded by family can almost change my mind....Dare I say that? I just don't think I could ever open myself completely to the idea of living there again. Especially when we have such a great life here now. It was Carter pretending to play with his cousins today in the living room that got to me. "You want some too, Selah?"..."Don't say 'no' Selah"... and when he asked for cousin JJ and Nana....it gets me. He loves them. Shouldn't we all be together? Shouldn't God's will for our lives play out in the same zip code?
We shall see.
I could bounce back and forth between the new pleasures of life living in Texas and the sentimentality of being in NY until the sun comes up. Torn; not really. I know that our family is where God has us right now. Just like I know that my brothers & sisters-in-law are where God has them. For now, I'm trusting that God has something far beyond my wild imagination in store for the future.
I can safely say the last place I'd want to live is in WNY, where I grew up and where I feel undoubtedly at home. At rest? That's another story. I all but refused to meet my husband because he was a WNY resident and I never wanted to end up back there. The years I spent living there during engagement and then marriage were dark and oppressive on my spirit. Its just not the place for me.
That said, the warmth felt being surrounded by family can almost change my mind....Dare I say that? I just don't think I could ever open myself completely to the idea of living there again. Especially when we have such a great life here now. It was Carter pretending to play with his cousins today in the living room that got to me. "You want some too, Selah?"..."Don't say 'no' Selah"... and when he asked for cousin JJ and Nana....it gets me. He loves them. Shouldn't we all be together? Shouldn't God's will for our lives play out in the same zip code?
We shall see.
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